NEWS OF: 5/9/2006

Maine Crime: America’s Least Intelligent


There was the guy who stole a woman’s laptop computer only to have his car get stuck on a slab of ice in her driveway. She came home, looked in the car, continued inside and called the cops. He was still spinning his wheels when the police arrived.

Maine crime. It’s totally lame.

Now, a North New Portland woman is accused of helping her 13-year-old daughter make cookies laced with Ex-Lax for a school teacher who gave the child a low grade.

It’s embarassing. We endure news teasers, teeth clenched, praying for a good, old fashioned weather disaster, only to discover that a disgruntled church member has poisoned the congregation with arsenic laced coffee. (Okay, that one was less lame) Or, the Maine classic scenario: getaway vehicle breaks down and perp walks back to victim’s house to call for a tow truck - usually carrying at least one stolen item from the vic’ which he/she recognizes at once and calls the police.

Criminals, please

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1 Comment »

  1. Remember the Mainer on the lam about 15 years ago who was apprehended in Texas wearing his “Belfast, Maine” T-shirt?


    Comment by Alna Dem — 5/10/2006 @ 7:12 pm

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