NEWS OF: 4/28/2006

Jerry Falwell: Cursed by God with Chins, Gays, Jews

According to ABC News, “When the Rev. Jerry Falwell speaks from behind the lectern at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va., there is a unique presence surrounding him.” It’s called cellulite.

Falwell has joined Pat Robertson on the short bus in recent years, proclaiming Teletubby Tinky Winky to be gay or waxing poetic about killing terrorists for Jesus.

Both men are classic examples of the graceless slide into old age. Everyone has a senior family member who is or was a ranting nutbag, suffered by a family quietly counting down the clock. Falwell’s influence is passing. The next generation just doesn’t hate the same people with the same vehemence.

We’re all gay. Or know someone who is. Or have a brother/sister/parent who’s “out.” Or we just don’t care because a nuclear holocaust with Iran is higher on our list of things to worry about because it feels more like a “real issue” and less like mindlessly jumping on some old man’s queer smear.

Enter Rabbi Eric Yoffie, president of the Union for Reform Judaism, who, in a convocation address Wednesday to about 9,000 students at Liberty University, called for tolerance on the topic of gay civil rights. Rabbi Yoffie drew a few hisses and boos.

Falwell told the crowd, “nobody ever booed me in a synagogue when I said things opposite to what they believed.” And you know THAT had to hurt.

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